To Be Seen, Heard and Loved

Each of us are a caring person away from success. 

By Angie Matthiessen, Executive Director – United Way of Charlotte County

When you think back on the most important memory you have of your childhood, whether it was a joyful occasion or one filled with life-altering sadness, can you remember an adult who made an impact during that experience? Or perhaps more than one adult?

It was May of my seventh-grade year. We celebrated the end of the school year with a pool party and yearbook signing. I spent the night at a friend’s house afterwards but was woken at 1 o’clock in the morning to my dad knocking on the door. The look on his face revealed the magnitude of the news he would share with me. My 18-year-old brother, John, had been killed in a car crash.

Having such a trauma occur is not uncommon these days. Yet when you mix that with middle school, fragile emotions and maturity occurring at mock speed, the possible future pathways involve a variety of scenarios.

That was 41 years ago this month, and the ripple effects of that trauma are still being felt in my life. Being in my position at United Way of Charlotte County, I am grateful to see and learn so much through our community partners. The crisis of trauma and mental health amongst our youth is staggering to the heart.

A mentor told me once that these traumas and grief episodes build on top of one another, needing an outlet, needing recognition. I was fortunate to have many people reach out over the course of my high school and college years, caring for and investing in me. It was not always obvious to them how lost I was and how much I needed them to see me, hear me and tell me I was okay. Yet they showed up and offered me those things.

It was a very confusing time up to the point when I chose my career, not surprisingly as a social worker. My heart was to help others the way that I had been helped. I know in my soul that I would not be who I am today if not for each person who took a moment to care.

All these years later, I see my daughter graduating from eighth grade, having successfully traversed the middle school years. I am beyond grateful. It has been a challenging time to say the least for me as a mom due to the fact that I am admittedly a helicopter mom, which I chalk up to my experiences growing up.

As I reflect on my daughter’s journey thus far, what continues to stay with me are the people in Charlotte County who have led her to be the young woman she is today. From her preschool days at Good Shepherd Day School with Angie Benevides, to Jennie Hoke at Sallie Jones Elementary and the teachers who took the time to notice her, draw her out and instill in her the confidence that she needed. Our time in middle school at Charlotte Prep has been nothing short of wonderful thanks to Peggy Fear and her team. Ms. Fear is one of the most talented leaders I have ever met, especially as she navigated through COVID-19.

To see, hear and love those we encounter each day, this is how we navigate the strange and confusing days we are in. Through the examples in my life, those of my daughter and the people I am blessed to work with day in and day out – I honestly believe this is the magic sauce!

I have heard it said that every child is just one caring adult away from being a success story. I know the reality of this statement.

How can you be that for someone else? How can we as a community collectively make an impact, one person, one step at a time? Send me a note and let me know your thoughts.

For more information, please call the United Way of Charlotte County at 941-627-3539. Mission: Mobilizing the power of our community to break the cycle of poverty. Angie Matthiessen is the Executive Director of United Way of Charlotte County. She can be reached at director@unitedwayccfl.org.