On This Father's Day
by Angie Matthiessen, Executive Director - United Way of Charlotte County
Picking out a Father's Day card has always brought up many emotions for me. It's complicated. A father and daughter relationship sometimes can be. They can also be beautiful. We can all attest the Hallmark card for Father's Day paints a perfect picture. For many that does fit the bill. My heart is for the ones that it doesn't, those who have struggled in that relationship and those who have not had a father in their life.
When my father lost his only son, therein began a grief journey for him that lasted 38 years. Being 13 at the time we lost my brother, I experienced this grief from a different angle. Watching my parents grieve over the years was by far the hardest part of the loss. My father and I struggled over the years. While that sounds hard, I understand it all now in retrospect. I am so grateful that almost one year to the day before my father died, I sat in front of him eye to eye and we said it all with our hearts. Few words were spoken that day but it was very intentional for both of us. Forgiveness was given freely.
When I stand at the hallmark aisle and wish I could pick out a card for him, there are different words I would say now. What I’m trying to say is this ---- say it all in whatever way you can. It does not have to be Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. Call that loved one, your dad, your mom, whoever it may be, clear the air. Today is a new day and always an open door for love. I appreciate the opportunity to speak my heart and encourage you to do the same. We all have that someone.
This past week, I visited Valerie’s House on their Family Night. In Southwest Florida, their sole mission is to help children grieve the loss of a loved one. What a different situation our family might have had if we were exposed to such an incredible organization. No child will grieve alone is their vision.
It was very special helping these children (and their family member) make a craft in honor of their lost loved one. We have before us a large contingency of grieving children. Call any human service focused nonprofit or school in Charlotte County and they will tell you. What you may also hear is there is a serious need for male volunteers to help the many children who are grieving and/or don’t have a father that is involved with their life.
How can you mobilize your heart and help? Valerie’s House in Charlotte County needs volunteers to help them expand. In addition, Charlotte County Reads is looking for Reading Mentors to spend one hour a week with a child reading. ”We need volunteers to help with all of our programs, and in particular we could really use more male volunteers to step up and help with reading.” said Melissa Nelson, Big Brothers Big Sisters. Lynn Dorler, Boys & Girls Club chimed in stating “For our programs in general we need male role models that can help the young men succeed in life.”
On this Father’s Day, I want to thank all our fathers, wherever you are in your parenting roles, for all you do for your children and all the children in our community.
To our fathers that are no longer on this earth with us, please know our memories of you and our times together will be forever in our hearts.
To learn more, contact Christine Carey at christine@valerieshouse.org or Tracy Wooldridge at twooldridge@bbbssun.org. For more information about United Way of Charlotte County’s mission: Mobilizing the power of our community to break the cycle of poverty please contact Angie Matthiessen, the Executive Director of United Way of Charlotte County. She can be reached at director@unitedwayccfl.org or at 941-627-3539.